New Moms Need Support; How You Can Help
By QCNC Intern, Indya Wilson
Becoming a new mom, whether for the first or seventh time, is known to be such
a magical and wonderous time. What more could anyone possibly want or need
when they have a precious new bundle of joy with that delicious “new baby
smell” and all of the cuteness that one person could possibly handle? Well, quite
honestly, a LOT of support is needed. The next time that you go to visit your
friends or loved ones with new littles, consider taking some (or all) of these steps
to help them out; no task is too big or small and is always greatly appreciated!
1: Bring her favorite comfort food(s).
Bringing a baby earth side is unbelievably HARD work. You can expect that most
new moms will be exhausted, achy, going through a plethora of body changes
and fluctuations in hormones and while in hospital, the food is probably not all
that great. It’s hard to imagine few things better than getting to sleep in your own
comfy bed after a couple of days and being totally surprised with your favorite
comfort food! This is sure to be one thoughtful gesture that will leave her
2: Offer to watch the baby while at her house.
If you don’t know firsthand, I am here to tell you that mama needs a break, and
that’s completely fine! With a new baby depending on his or her mom for their
every need, it can be hard to find time to simply take a shower. Offer to watch the
baby so that mom can shower, wash her hair and eat or go the extra mile and
watch baby for a couple hours so that this new mom can get some much
appreciated and uninterrupted sleep – words can’t describe how supportive this
is and how important it is to anyone’s physical and mental health to get some
3: Offer to run errands or do some household chores.
When you have a moment and are wondering what you could do to help around
the house, offer to so some light tidying like doing baby’s laundry and folding it,
getting those dishes out of the way or making sure mom's cup is filled with water
– maybe even preparing some healthy snacks that can be grabbed at a moment’s
notice and doesn’t require much effort to eat. Even offering to order groceries
online and picking them up would be a HUGE help - go the extra mile and put
4: Offer to make dinner or drop some freezer meals off.
In the first few weeks and months of this new normal, having freshly made (or
pre-made, freezer) meals on hand is a life-saver! Being able to pre-heat the oven,
pop a delicious dinner in and setting the time without much more thought is a
game changer. New moms are using a lot of energy when breastfeeding and
require more calories. After caring for a baby all day, she’ll just want to have the
ease of preparing dinner as easily and quickly as possible! There are even apps
that allow you to invite friends and family members to create “meal trains." I
know…. my mind was blown too! Genius.
5: Pamper her.
New parents give everything they’ve got, every second of every day. Give her
everything you’ve got when spending time with her – when she’s feeling up to it,
offer to treat her to a mani/pedi, massage or book an appointment with a
chiropractor who can realign everything and keep her feeling one hundred
percent. If she’s not ready to leave the house or has just given birth, offer to rub
her feet or create a simple “necessity circle” if she’s had a cesarean section – to
do this, you will simply grab everything that you think she will need in arm's reach
and create that space within her space; keep a change of clothes and underwear,
diapers, wipes, swaddles, pumps and snacks in an easy to reach basket. Super
simple and super helpful!
Above all things, hold space for her. Listen. Listen intently, without interruptions
and without feeling the need to interject with your own opinions and (for the
love…) unsolicited advice. Sometimes, birth can be traumatic. Sometimes there
will be things that she desperately needs to unpack and process; be there for her
wholly and completely. There will be times when a mom is holding onto things
that she doesn’t wish to discuss with anyone and that’s okay, but be sure to let
her know that you’re there for her whenever and if ever she decides to talk things
through. Being a new mom can be lonely and often times, everyone comes to see
the new baby, completely forgetting about the person who nourished, carried
and birthed this little one: SEE her, always and all ways. Give her space and then
fill it with positive affirmations.